Enlightenment — what is there before there was nothing or after there is nothing?
Bad things happen to good people — just as my best friend, who was murdered with two bullets to his head. He died in the hospital about 12 hours later. A strong bastard he was. I never cried and I still haven't. How long has it been? Ten years?
I almost cried when a robin flew to my window, cracked its little neck and died instantly. I have marked those big windows giving to west with X's made with tape. On the other hand, I've saved the lives of many little birds and other animals, helping them to recuperate and making sure that they are alright.
And he was a good guy, just as I said. Why am I alive and he is gone forever? Maybe I am not good. Maybe I'm a real shithead and a horrible person. That might be the key for surviving: don't be good — be a total dick!
There's no karma, only fate — and faith. Arcane benefits of creed and silent prayers, spoken softly in a holy place — a place that you see holy. For me places such as that are e.g. a sauna or the forest. Or my comfortable, old couch when I'm lying there, all lights off, four candles lit. Reading, listening to music or watching a good, old movie from, say, David Cronenberg. I cried at the end of David Lynch's "The Elephant Man" (1980).
Some people get and some people don't get. Those who don't deserve anything, get too much and those who would deserve more, get even less than they are good for. There it was again: good. Maybe nobody deserves a shit? It's just all one giant, cosmic bingo with no winners, but all losers.
Your brain is sentenced to a life inside a prison; your skull. Sometimes the consciousness — that thinks it is very clever or intelligent — tries to escape the prison: LSD, for example. But you are not that smart — otherwise you would know that there are guards surrounding the prison, keeping watch and shooting down anyone trying to escape. Sentenced to life...
No one has ever done it, no one ever will. Enlightenment.
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When the last worn-out star is a myriad eternities away from the second last worn-out star in the vast, absolute coldness of space, the complete, total and irreversible state of inertia and entropy have been reached. Nothing can or will ever be.
But still, life can be only created out of life, just as Pasteur said. Amazing! Think about it: where did it all come from? How did it start, if there was nothing?
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